If you build it....

I have been back and forth about this blog. Seems I have people looking at the page but no one is commenting. I am guessing this is a 'we will see if anyone else comments first' thing. I have a few blogs that I read rather regularly. Of course, my access during the day is limited to what I can access.

I came across the blog poopandboogies.blogspot.com 3 years ago. A friend of mine was reading a different blog, which linked to his blog. He noticed that he lived in the town I do and forwarded it to me just because it peeked his interest. I liked it right away. Who wouldn't like something named poop and boogies??? I read it regularly and I very rarely comment. You would think I would because I want people to comment on mine. Anyway, I did see him once at Chuck E. Cheese and probably creeped him out that I recognized him.. but it is what it is. I enjoy his blog . It's funny and clever and I 'get' the humor of it. After you read mine.. check it out, you will like what you see!

I keep saying I am going to get my blog moving along and don't follow through. I am determined now. I am going to build it... so they will come!!

What kind of drunk are you?

I'm a social drinker. I do not drink at home if I am alone. My mental picture of doing this ages me 50 years as sad and lonely with 4,000 cats and a bottle of whiskey hanging from my arm while I am laying on a recliner covered in fur). I find that depressing.

I drink when I am out. Period. I do not like the 'feeling ' of being drunk. Buzzed.. I can do .. drunk not so much. You know when you get to the point where if you take one more sip.. you will be dancing on the bar lifting your shirt because you suddenly believe that your muffin top is incredibly sexy. I avoid getting to that point. I have learned that there are different levels of "feeling good". Here is how I see the different levels of drinking.

The Yawner: The yawner is the one that didn't really want to go out in the first place. They do not drink. They are bored by the whole thing and just want to go home. The yawner is annoying. If the yawner is claiming that they came out because they didn't want to get shit for staying home.. guess what??? We would have rather you have done that than sit there and mope all night. You will not be missed next time around. Just sayin....

The Pretender: The pretender wants desperately to be cool. They don't really drink much by nature but want to fit in so bad that they pretend. They will get a real drink, make it a point to let you know exactly what they are drinking ( usually rum and coke) then order a soda and say that they are still drinking rum and coke. Here's the deal Pretender: once you have had 7 "rum and cokes" and haven't gotten all stupid- the gig is up. If you don't want to drink alot then good for you. But if drinking ain't your thing,why the hell do you want to hang around a bunch of drunk people? The pretender needs to seek counseling or try going to Starbucks.

The Handler: The handler knows what they are doing. They know how to have a good time and they know how much they can handle. The handler can sometimes drink all night without batting an eye or can have just a few and start to feel it. They can get a good buzz but know how to act. The handler is good to have around so they can pay attention to all of the others listed here. They are not only a good time but do not end up the topic of everyone's conversation the following day for making a complete ass of themselves. Downside to being a handler: they end up being responsible for all of the idiots they are with at the time.

The Sneaker: The sneaker is not a shoe that drinks. The sneaker is the one that everyone tends to dread hanging around because they end up carrying them out of the bar, picking them up off the floor or cleaning up their chunky puke. The sneaker pretends that they have it all under control. They say they are going to the bathroom and come back drunk. Not only are they drunk they pretend they are not. To the Sneaker: there is a word for sneaking away to take shots without no one seeing you so they don't think you are being excessive . The word is alcoholism. Seek help. There are plenty of places out there to help you..google it.

The Am Ex: you never leave home without the Am Ex. They are the ones that you always want with you when going out. They drink, usually to excess but lack the sneakers need to be constantly watched over. They are funny, a little loud and will always be sure that there are drinks on the bar. They are secure with drinking openly as they don't do it often and enjoy the chance to get away from the kids if even for just a few hours. The Am Ex is the life of the party.

The Zit: the last one is the Zit. Aptly named because you usually know they are coming, they tend to irritate you and you can't wait for them to go away. The Zit starts out fun. Then they drink to excess and become loud and annoying ESPECIALLY to the Yawner and the Handler. They do not know when to shut the hell up, can become extremely obnoxious and like to share their 'feelings' with anyone who will listen. The Zit tries to get everyone to drink, whether they want to or not and do not know when stop. The Zit thinks they are making friends with everyone and has no idea that everyone in the bar is talking about them. Many people want to 'pop' the Zit throughout the night. Do not confuse the Zit with the Am Ex. There is no gray area between the two.

Which one are you?

Loose Screws

You have to wonder what makes people snap. Some people are short fused and anytime something happens tend to get angry and yell right away. Others are closet snappers. They yell when no one is around and talk to themselves in disturbing tones. Others tend to just let it build and build and build until one day their head will just pop off of their shoulders.


You have to wonder about those who seem so normal until they wake up one day and have just lost their mind. They then do things that no rational human being would do. Once they snap there is no going back. I am glad I have not snapped. I am glad to be a closet snapper. I am glad I haven't completely lost my mind.

I'm BACKKKKKKKKKK

I haven't been posting for several months. I have decided that I am going to keep up with my blog regularly. I have been asked why I haven't been posting. I know people are reading because the blog gods tell me so but no one comments. BUT I have decided there is nothing wrong with talking to yourself so I will continue on...more to come!!!!

What are the odds?

What are the odds of walking through an indoor breezeway with one other person and looking out the window and seeing a large group of landscapers working in uniform. They are all wearing brown shorts and a dark tan shirt. You say to the person you are walking with (and the only person within 1000 feet of you) that they look like a group of UPS workers because of said uniform. What are the odds of hearing a voice directly behind you say "But I am not mexican" and turning around to a UPS worker who came out of nowhere and was walking directly behind you ?? Seriously? Only me.

Casino Drama

Awhile ago, I was at the casino sitting at a slot machine and doing pretty well on it. A woman who was sitting two seats down from me says ' Excuse me '. I look over at the woman and she has her debit card in her hand and says "Can you read me these numbers , I can't see them too well" and hands me her phone. The woman had a very heavy accent so it took me a minute to figure out what she was saying. So I was like "Um okk" and read her off the numbers while she keyed them into her phone. She messed up so we started over. Five minutes later she says thank you and I resume my slot play.

Approximately one minute later, she leans over with her phone extended to me and says "Can you read these numbers off to the lady please?" So now I'm a little annoyed because she is bothering me and I have absolutely NO desire to put my ear up to a phone of someone I do not know. I'm a bit germophobic and all I can think of is that her nasty ear stuff is going to end up being my nasty ear stuff. However, she looks very confused and is obviously not going to leave me alone until she gets whatever it is she is trying to do accomplished. So I take the phone, hold it close to but not right at my ear and start to read the numbers to the lady on the other end of the phone. Immediately the lady tells me that I can not do this and she needs to speak directly to the card holder. So I hand the woman the phone back and tell her this. She doesn't understand what I am saying. So I repeat that the lady needs to speak directly to her. Again, I resume my playing.

About 4 minutes later she hangs up the phone and says " Excuse Me". I look over and she proceeds to tell me that she spent over her limit but has plenty of money in the bank and called the lady so that they would let her take out more money because she wanted to play the machine she was sitting at. The lady on the other end of the phone told her they would add a little bit of money so she could withdraw it and it would take a few minutes. I smile and tell her that's good ( which really means " If you don't shut the hell up and leave me alone I am going to scream). AGAIN, I resume my playing even though I'm not really playing because it seems that the button on my machine was really a cue for her to say excuse me and ask me to do something for her.

I was thrilled that I hit the button 3 times and I didn't hear anything from her so I assumed they fixed the machine so that it serves it's proper purpose. WRONG. "Excuse me" . This time I just looked at her because if I opened my mouth my response would have been " OMG LADY YOU ARE WORKING MY LAST NERVE AND THIS ISN'T A SMOKING SECTION SO I CAN'T SMOKE TO CALM ME DOWN SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!'. She says " Please watch my machine, I want to go see if I can get my money". I say Ok and am glad that I will have a few minutes of peace. Then she is gone forevverrrrrrrrrrrr and I am stuck making sure no one sits at the machine until she finally returns. She tells me that it's not available yet so she will wait a few minutes and try again. With that, I cash out and tell her to have a nice day. I am NOT going to do that again. When do you stop being polite? I can't be mean but man some people are just annoying. I would never hand someone my debit card, and give them my phone and have them speak to the bank for me.... especially in a casino.! DUH.

Space Invaders

So my job relocated to a new office building. There are several other companies that occupy the building. The cafeteria is a large one and has seating for about 250 people (if I had to take a guess). There is a partition wall in the middle, for what reason I have no idea.. but there are two 'sides' to the cafeteria.

I went to lunch one day alone. Let me backtrack.. In our previous building , I was close enough to go home for lunch . I had just enough time to get home, eat and get back. I don't have that luxury now. The first day I went down to the new cafeteria to eat, I was a little bit freaked. I have never , in my 36 years, eaten in a 'public' place alone. I always see people doing that and feel sorry for them. I don't know why, but I do. Anyway, I went down and took my book. I ate, read and I managed to live through it. The next day I did the same. I now LOVE to sit alone and eat. Here's why...


The other day, I was sitting minding my business in a nearly empty cafeteria ( there was about 6 people in the whole place.. I went to lunch late) . A girl, that I have never seen in my life and is assumingly from one of the other offices) came in, sat down about 3 feet from me to eat. Now there is NOOOOO one in there and she could have sat ANYWHERE. She didn't speak , wasn't trying to make conversation, didn't look at me , just sat there all up in my face , chewing like a complete and 'utter' cow. I couldn't concentrate on my book with the lips smacking and that fact that she was sitting right next to me. I closed my book after a few minutes and quietly walked away.

The next day , I went to the other side of the partition and sat, thinking if I was back in the corner I would be safe.. Nope.. same thing happened again. Only a different person. Why? I don't understand why people wouldn't want to have their own space???? Maybe people just want to feel like people are around? It's very weird to me.

The NEXT day, I sat. A woman I work with came and asked if I minded if she sat with me. I said ' Sure! Sit down'. I didn't mind the company or so I thought. Halfway through, another male co-worker came and saw us and took a seat. This particular person is a nice guy but after one previous encounter of witnessing him eating, I had no desire to repeat the experience. LUCKILY, my time was about up and I made a graceful exit.

So today, I went down and really thought I was safe.. I saw a few people but they were finishing up or already in place so I just kept moving to find a seat since I now enjoy the quiet time. I didn't even have half an ass cheek on the booth before another woman I work with asked if she could sit with me. She came out of NOWHERE!!! She said she wouldn't sit if I didn't want her to because I had a book and she didn't want to interrupt. Of course I told her to sit. I'm not anti-people. I know she is kind of a lonely woman so the company would make her happy. SO she sat ... all was fine.... with the exception of a few pieces of food flying out of her mouth.

I really like sitting alone.. Never in a million years would I think I would have ever said that. But I look forward to that short half hour of the day. I look forward to being that person that people look at and think 'aw poor thing eating all alone'. Now if I could just get the damn chance to do it, I would be a happy girl!!!!