Life is Good...The Conclusion

(if this is your first time reading.. I recommend scrolling down a few posts and starting from the beginning of the story!).

About 5 weeks have passed. I have spent all my waking hours with my husband and girls.While I sleep often it is never enough. It is a struggle to keep my eyes open however it is a bigger struggle to succumb to rest because I want to savor the time I have left with my family. Sometimes I find myself just staring at them so that the imprint of their faces always remain with me. I do not have the energy to eat and what I do consume is a struggle to keep down.

This morning I woke to a beam of sunshine on my face.  My husband was standing by the window. He opened the blinds to bring some light to the room. He says sunshine makes you happy.  I think it was because I lie so still and my breathing is so sporadic that he is checking to make sure I am still alive. He had a look of unbridled fear in his eyes. I smiled. He smiled back. It was a moment that seemed to last forever. We both knew then that today would be our last day together until we meet again.

He called my girls to come over then made me a cup of my favorite herbal tea. We both knew I couldn't drink it but the smell of chamomile is divine and having it on the nightstand beside me was just as soothing as sipping it.

My husband and my girls sat at my bedside all afternoon. We talked, well mainly they talked and when I had the strength I responded.  We cried and we laughed over and over again. I was beaming from ear to ear because my final moments could not have been more perfect. My daughter asked why I was so happy. I told them that to have the opportunity to spend this time with the people who have made my life complete was a blessing. Life is an opportunity. A chance to learn, to grow and to love. We are put here to prepare for what lies ahead. This is just the beginning.

Evening approached and I grew tired. They asked if I wanted them to leave the room to let me rest.  I told them to stay for just a little while longer. With my final bit of energy, I kissed each of them softly. It was then that I saw the path. The trees were magnificent and butterflies surrounded me.  I looked toward the end of the path and there stood my grandmother with her hand held out to me. I looked at my husband and girls and told them that I was ready for God to hear my prayers again. I closed my eyes one final time, we bowed our heads and I whispered my final words " In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen".  I took my grandmother's hand and together we walked.

  Life is good.

The Cat's Meow

I have two cats.  One was fixed, one was not. She is in heat. She had been making her quite annoying " I am in heat meows and sticking her ass in the air for about a week now. SOMEONE let her out ( by mistake) . I was not home at the time.  I have no idea how long she was out there but the noises have stopped.  She seems quite content.  I have a feeling I will have some kitties to give away sometime soon.

The Life is Good conclusion will be posted later today....

Life is good..cont.

I went to my oncologist last week. Hearing the word 'metastasized' is never good thing. However I now know where I will spend my forever and look forward to releasing my pain.  I had a nice long chat with my two girls today. They aren't girls anymore. They are both in their twenties and have grown to be such wonderful women. I admire who they are, the choices they continue to make and the lives that they lead.  They are still young and have so much to offer.  I told them it's ok to be sad but not to be sad forever.  I will always be with them. I will watch when they marry, have children and I will protect them as best I can.  I know where I am going and someday (God willing many many years from now) we will be together forever.  Until then their job here is not done and  they should make the best of each and every moment. We cried, we laughed and we loved. I am ready. I have done my job and I have done it well.

Life is good.. I had a dream.... cont.

Last night I had a dream. I was walking down a path. It was lined with brilliant green trees. The path opened up to reveal the most astonishing view I have even seen. Words can not begin to describe what was before my eyes.

 A seamlessly never ending field covered in the brightest, most aromatic flowers you could ever imagine. Butterflies dusted with brilliant color circled the bluest of skies. I stood there in awe as a light warm breeze brushed my skin.

An overwhelming sensation of children's laughter came over me. Although the sound was distant, I felt the happiness it brought as though it was right before me. I followed the sound and continued through the field.  The smell of jasmine filled the air and I closed my eyes to embrace the moment.  The sound of a child's giggle persuaded me to open my eyes. Standing before me was my grandmother. She never looked as beautiful as she did now. Her skin was pure and soft. She looked peaceful. She said nothing. She simply took my hand and guided me through the tulips. As I looked around, I saw children playing and dogs running free. There were people everywhere. I recognized loved ones who passed before me and waved in quiet anticipation. I wanted to stop and reach out to them but she was leading me and I was unable to let go of her hand.

The sun got brighter with each passing step. I looked behind me in hopes that we could go back and stay there only to find that nothing was there. I turned to my grandmother with a look of complete desperation. She whispered to me " We will see you soon when you come back home". She released my hand and I opened my eyes.




* this story of fiction begins below

Life is good.. cont

My husband and I woke up this morning and decided to go to our favorite diner for breakfast.  He was against the idea because I am a little weak and it takes a lot of energy for me to go out. I told him that I not only wanted to but needed to do the things I love to do while I can. My doctor has told me that the chances of recovery are slim and soon enough I may not be able to enjoy these things.  I still have hope but reality is setting in. We ate and talked and had a great time. I have started to snap photos in my mind so that  I can picture these moments forever. After we ate, I was tired and we went home.

We sat on the rocking chairs on our front porch for hours. He asked if I was scared.  I told him that I am accepting my fate whatever that may be but I worry that he will be ok. I, in turn, asked him if he was scared.  He told me that he couldn't imagine his life without me and doesn't think about it because he wouldn't be able to be strong for me if he did. I told him that I  have no regrets and I thanked him.  He has been my rock. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would find not only my love but my best friend but I prayed and God answered by bringing him to me. I told him that we will get through this together . I believe that ' til death do us part' is only a temporary phrase. Life will go on. Life is good. It will treat him well.  We will have our time together again and when we do it will be for eternity. He asked me if I prayed  for a cure. I told him that I am at peace. I am giving God a break. I will pray to him again when it's time.

We sat on the porch all afternoon as if time would never end and I snapped another photo.



*Please see prior post for beginning of fiction story.

Life is Good

Life has treated me well. I am blessed with a loving husband and two children who have taught me what true love means. As any parent knows, there is no greater love than the love of your children. I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason eludes us.

My name is Anna. I am 48 and I have breast cancer. Physically, I am a tired and worn but mentally I am as  as alive as I have ever been. I have prayed all of my life. I have prayed for what everyone prays for but mostly I have prayed that I travel on the path that was intended for me.  I believe that He has a plan for me and I am on the path He wants me to take.  I am prepared for whatever that path may be. I am now giving  my time for prayer to those who need it more.  I will pray again when I need Him to direct me to my next step. For now , it is someone else's turn.






To be continued....

*This is a work of fiction.

Coming soon...

 A short fictional story . I will post each day... Follow along..