Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Firecracker Firecracker BOOM BOOM BOOM...

When I was younger (the age of 5 to 15) I was a cheerleader. I cheered for my local township and we were the shit. We competed in an annual state competition (I think from age 10 and up??).You had to try out and make the team. There was the Junior and Senior teams. You could try out for cheerleading or halftime (dance) or both. You could make one or the other, both or neither. I always felt bad when someone didn't make anything. In addition to the group competition, there was also a category for Miss Cheerleader. A Miss Cheerleader was chosen from each the junior and senior squad by a vote from her peers and would compete with an individual cheer against all other Miss Cheerleaders from the other squads ( I was both junior and senior Miss Cheerleader back in the day..pat pat). It was a big deal to be Miss Cheerleader. Since this story really has nothing to do with cheerleading , I will get more into my rah rah stories later.

Anyway, my older sister, Eve Marie, was Senior Miss Cheerleader while I was still on the junior squad. She was prepared and ready to go. Two days before the state competition we had a dress rehearsal. My cousin was also on the team and my aunt drove us home from rehearsal. It was December and there was a big snow storm. Ya know, the kind that brings back memories of walking two miles up hill both ways to school in the snow with holes in your shoes. That kind.

Now do you remember when you were little and you got yelled at for doing perfectly logical things and your parents were just constantly up your ass? Like the things you hear yourself say and puke a little in your mouth because you just reminded yourself of them.. Go BRUSH YOUR TEETH, GET YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR PANTS, DON'T YOU DARRRREEEEEEEEEEE WIPE THAT BOOGER ON YOUR SHIRT, GO GET A TISSUE! You get the gist. We had a front porch (well it's still there) but there are bushes in front of it and some garden in between. We always got yelled at for running across the lawn and through the bushes to get to the porch. Made sense to us because otherwise you have to take the long route and walk up to the driveway and onto the porch. One would think that our parents would be grateful to see our precious little faces a little sooner when we jumped through the bushes. Apparently not because no matter where they were as soon as we got mid air all you heard was " STOP JUMPING THROUGH THE BUSHES!!" blah blah blah.

So on the night of dress rehearsal my aunt pulled up to the curb on the street. I got out and my sister got out. We waved goodbye. It was very slippery and she fell. BOOM..flat on her ass. At that exact moment the car slid. BOOM. It ran over her foot. No one's fault, the weather was ideal for a " let's wear saddles shoes and skirts and drive out on the roads" kind of night. So what do I do? I go to run and BOOM. I fall. I get up and run like hell.... slipping all over the lawn through the bushes to the front door opening and my dad yelling " DON"T RUN THROUGH THE BUSHES". So I think to myself " um do you not see all this snow, do you not know that my bloomers and short skirt are making me a little cold???" but I SAY " But Eve's foot just got run over with the car.". Out runs my dad.. and what route do you think he takes??? That's right ladies and gentleman. Poppa goes right through the bushes.

She went to the hospital. Luckily, it was just badly sprained with bruising and nothing was broken. But it hurt her like hell. She had to compete, in pain, with a brace in front of all of those people. When you were Miss Cheerleader , you have to include at least one gymnastic in your cheer. It was normally nothing too dramatic, we were cheerleaders not gymnasts so it was a round up or back handspring. You got the occasional show off who would flip through the air like an empty beer can. Because her foot was swollen and she was in so much pain. She did a cartwheel. The most PATHETIC cartwheel I have ever seen in my life. She won!!! I was so proud. She rocked it. (not the cartwheel but the rest of it).

I am still waiting for an apology for attempting to save my sister's life as quickly as possible by taking the faster route.