Thursday, May 7, 2009

Embarrasing Moments- Part 2

As promised Lynn.

Several years ago, my boyfriend at the time, we will call him Bob, because that's his name, and I went to Hershey Park for the 4th of July. We stayed at the Hershey Hotel , which was beautiful , and spent the weekend there.

Saturday afternoon, we went to Hershey's Garden. It was full of vibrant flowers and trees and had an incredible Butterfly house that my mother would adore. After walking around the garden we went to the gift shop. We parted ways and were looking around. I stopped at one of those revolving racks that you spin around. It contained postcards. I picked up a few and proceeded on my quest for items I had absolutely no use for.

A few minutes later, I feel something snag on my jacket ( it was July but it was damp and I am always cold). I turned my head just a little and saw the revolving rack I was just at a few minutes before. I stopped dead in my tracks. I could feel it moving so I reached back and grabbed it with my hand. The moving stopped. I am standing there, completely still with my hand on the 'rack' knowing that if I made the slightest move that thing was going down.

Bob comes over looks at me and says ' WHAT ARE YOU DOING'? I laughed, and said "Help it's going to fall over if I move- unsnag me." He looks , laughs, shakes his head and says ' Erica look behind you and let go'. I turn around and I am not holding onto the rack, I am holding onto a small child( one who never said a word). He must have thought I was his mother and came up and tugged on my jacket and I just grabbed ( obviously unaware of what the hell I was doing.)

His mother comes up at that point and looks at me ( we are pretty much pissing ourselves and my face was a ridiculous shade of red). I simply say "I'm so sorry I thought he was a rack" , dropped my stuff and out the door we went.

Can you say Jackass?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Embarrassing Moments

We've all had them. Me- I've had enough to run a year long marathon on America's Funniest Home Videos-but here is one of my favorites...

It was the summer of 1993 ( I think). A few friends and I decided to go to Pizza Hut for lunch. Now this was back in the day when Pizza Hut had a kick ass buffet and restaurant, not just delivery.
We ate, talked, had a great time. We get the bill, I put my money on the table and I told my friends I would be right back, I had to pee. Now, if I were to design a restaurant, my choice of placement for a restroom would NOT be smack dab in the front of the restuarant.. obviously I did not design this particualr restaurant (which was just one big room with tables and the bufet in the middle). So I go to the front of restaurant and enter the bathroom. Sink is immediately on my left and toilet is about 6 feet from the sink.

Being as it is 1993, I am dressed in my gnarly mid shirt and shorts. I put my 'just in case I slip and hit the seat' toilet paper on the seat, pull down my shorts and squat. As I begin to do my business, I notice that I neglected to lock the door to this single bathroom. I instantly squeeze and halt all further bodily releases. I inch my way ( carefully so that my shorts, which are at my knees don't hit the floor) towards the door. Now mind you, everything from mid stomach to knees is without cover. I get close enough to the door to reach over to lock it. Just as my fingers touch the knob the door opens -WIDE! I look up to a happy little couple needing to use the bathroom. I shriek (quite loudly). These two poor innocent full bladdered people ( who hopefully already ate) see me squatting over by the door, nowhere near the toilet with my pants down! They looked at me like I was INSANE! Then I look past them...... there we have a restuarant full of people looking up to see what the shreiking it about and I'm there at the door with my pants down....

I slammed the door shut ( again making as much noise as one can possibly make while going to the bathroom) and just stayed in there for about 10 minutes wondering how to make my exit. Finally I decided that I can not stay in Pizza Hut forever , opened the bathroom door and ran out the front door. Then I proceed to knock on the window to let me friends that I was out there and was NOT coming back in.... Humiliating....

Pizza Hut 'restuarants' around here are now closed. GEE I wonder why.........................