My husband and I woke up this morning and decided to go to our favorite diner for breakfast. He was against the idea because I am a little weak and it takes a lot of energy for me to go out. I told him that I not only wanted to but needed to do the things I love to do while I can. My doctor has told me that the chances of recovery are slim and soon enough I may not be able to enjoy these things. I still have hope but reality is setting in. We ate and talked and had a great time. I have started to snap photos in my mind so that I can picture these moments forever. After we ate, I was tired and we went home.
We sat on the rocking chairs on our front porch for hours. He asked if I was scared. I told him that I am accepting my fate whatever that may be but I worry that he will be ok. I, in turn, asked him if he was scared. He told me that he couldn't imagine his life without me and doesn't think about it because he wouldn't be able to be strong for me if he did. I told him that I have no regrets and I thanked him. He has been my rock. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would find not only my love but my best friend but I prayed and God answered by bringing him to me. I told him that we will get through this together . I believe that ' til death do us part' is only a temporary phrase. Life will go on. Life is good. It will treat him well. We will have our time together again and when we do it will be for eternity. He asked me if I prayed for a cure. I told him that I am at peace. I am giving God a break. I will pray to him again when it's time.
We sat on the porch all afternoon as if time would never end and I snapped another photo.
*Please see prior post for beginning of fiction story.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Life is Good
Life has treated me well. I am blessed with a loving husband and two children who have taught me what true love means. As any parent knows, there is no greater love than the love of your children. I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason eludes us.
My name is Anna. I am 48 and I have breast cancer. Physically, I am a tired and worn but mentally I am as as alive as I have ever been. I have prayed all of my life. I have prayed for what everyone prays for but mostly I have prayed that I travel on the path that was intended for me. I believe that He has a plan for me and I am on the path He wants me to take. I am prepared for whatever that path may be. I am now giving my time for prayer to those who need it more. I will pray again when I need Him to direct me to my next step. For now , it is someone else's turn.
To be continued....
*This is a work of fiction.
My name is Anna. I am 48 and I have breast cancer. Physically, I am a tired and worn but mentally I am as as alive as I have ever been. I have prayed all of my life. I have prayed for what everyone prays for but mostly I have prayed that I travel on the path that was intended for me. I believe that He has a plan for me and I am on the path He wants me to take. I am prepared for whatever that path may be. I am now giving my time for prayer to those who need it more. I will pray again when I need Him to direct me to my next step. For now , it is someone else's turn.
To be continued....
*This is a work of fiction.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Boo!
I believe in ghosts. I may watch too much TV but I do believe they exist. My older sister used to see my grandfather ( my father's dad) when she was little and my mother (who unless she saw it for herself probably wouldn't believe it ) saw him once as well. He used to look over my sister. We never met him. He died before we were even born. I never saw him.
When I first moved into my house I was worried about being scared. I am a big sissy and living alone was a little frightening. I was surprisingly fine and didn't really worry ( although when I first moved in I would check to be sure the doors were locked 5 times before I went to bed.. that is OCD not fear).
Shortly after I moved in, I was in bed one night and the house was very quiet. I heard a loud crash that sounded like an ashtray fell and broke. I always say it sounded like an ashtray although an ashtray doesn't have a specific sound so I don't know there that comes from. It sounded like it was coming from the basement. I got up and went down there ( its unfinished and musty and dark down there). There was nothing. I looked outside to see if maybe someone was putting out the trash or recycle bins. This was dumb since it was 2:00 a.m and most of my neighbors are old . Nothing. I laid in bed a little freaked but that was the end of that.
A few years later I was in bed trying to sleep and I felt ( very strongly) someone standing over me I was WIDE awake but had my eyes closed. I was too scared to open them so I didn't. I just laid there.. waiting to die. My heart was beating a million miles a minute and I seriously thought I was going to die of a heart attack. I laid there for about 30 minutes and the feeling never went away. I knew I needed to open my eyes because obviously if someone was there it would be impossible not to hear them after that long and if they hadn't killed me by now then they weren't going to. So I opened them and there was nothing there. A minute or two later the feeling passed. My sleep sucked that night.
Yesterday afternoon I was watching My Ghost Story on TV. It was light out , my sister was watching with me, no big deal. Then my sister left. I started to freak out because now I had ghosts on my mind . I went into my bedroom and the closet was open. I am anal and never leave my closet open so it naturally had to be a ghost. So I put in a movie, The Soloist ( 2 thumbs up), in hopes that the ghost had already seen that movie and would go to someone's house so it didn't have to watch it again. It worked. The ghost was gone. I should be a Medium.
When I first moved into my house I was worried about being scared. I am a big sissy and living alone was a little frightening. I was surprisingly fine and didn't really worry ( although when I first moved in I would check to be sure the doors were locked 5 times before I went to bed.. that is OCD not fear).
Shortly after I moved in, I was in bed one night and the house was very quiet. I heard a loud crash that sounded like an ashtray fell and broke. I always say it sounded like an ashtray although an ashtray doesn't have a specific sound so I don't know there that comes from. It sounded like it was coming from the basement. I got up and went down there ( its unfinished and musty and dark down there). There was nothing. I looked outside to see if maybe someone was putting out the trash or recycle bins. This was dumb since it was 2:00 a.m and most of my neighbors are old . Nothing. I laid in bed a little freaked but that was the end of that.
A few years later I was in bed trying to sleep and I felt ( very strongly) someone standing over me I was WIDE awake but had my eyes closed. I was too scared to open them so I didn't. I just laid there.. waiting to die. My heart was beating a million miles a minute and I seriously thought I was going to die of a heart attack. I laid there for about 30 minutes and the feeling never went away. I knew I needed to open my eyes because obviously if someone was there it would be impossible not to hear them after that long and if they hadn't killed me by now then they weren't going to. So I opened them and there was nothing there. A minute or two later the feeling passed. My sleep sucked that night.
Yesterday afternoon I was watching My Ghost Story on TV. It was light out , my sister was watching with me, no big deal. Then my sister left. I started to freak out because now I had ghosts on my mind . I went into my bedroom and the closet was open. I am anal and never leave my closet open so it naturally had to be a ghost. So I put in a movie, The Soloist ( 2 thumbs up), in hopes that the ghost had already seen that movie and would go to someone's house so it didn't have to watch it again. It worked. The ghost was gone. I should be a Medium.
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