Somebody farted!

Farts are funny. I have no idea why but they are . Everyone farts and those who say they don't are lying. When you hear someone fart it is almost always funny...until it starts to smell.

I sat down to write something and wasn't sure what to write. My nephew came in the room to get a movie and I heard a little poof. I said " Was that a fart?" he said "Yep!" I laughed and here we are. He used to run over to me and say "I have a present for you!" then sit on me and fart. It was funny. He isn't so little anymore.. that phase has 'passed'.

I looked up the definition to see what it really means. My definition is' smelly air'. The real definition is 'a flatus expelled by the anus'. See even the definition is funny.

I remember being a little kid and going to Friendly's with my mom and my aunt. We were in a booth with 'leatherish' hard seats. I farted.. the whole place heard it because we all know if you fart on a hard chair it echoes all the way to Alaska. I laughed and laughed and laughed (and just laughed again remembering it). I also embarrassed the hell out of them. That's what kids are for!

There are rare times that farts are NOT funny. An example is as follows:

I went to a work dinner. It was for the winner of a big contest that was held and if I remember correctly the top 5 people ( along with a guest) took a limo to New York for dinner with some members of management. We went to dinner had a great time and then got in the limo to come home. As SOON as we left the restaurant I felt sick. Really sick. I started sweating and felt like complete hell. I was trying to downplay it because I knew I was going to be in the limo for about an hour and half withmanagement, co-workers and spouses who I had just met. It was late, everyone had been drinking and the noise in the limo was much quieter than it had been on the way there. I started coughing really hard. Did you ever cough really hard and fart? Well I did. Thank GOD that I was already flushed because I felt sick but I knew that my face was redder than a Irishman who forgot his sunblock. Everyone stopped talking and just looked at me... I ignored it. I swear those few minutes where everyone wanted so hard to laugh and were looking at each other like 'omg she sooo just farted' were the longest minutes of my life. I acted like it wasn't me. UMMMM when you cough fart .. people know. No one ever said anything to me but I know and I know they know. I just hope that they have forgotten. Doubt it... it's a fart story. Everyone remembers fart stories.

I woke up with a severe case of bronchitis and a very bruised ego.