The Proof is in the Pooping

When I was in high school I worked at Clover. If you have never heard of it, it was like today's Target. I worked in the snack bar. My responsibilities were making sure the wieners were on the rolly thing cooking, cutting onions, making burgers, scooping ice cream and pouring sodas and icees. It was a glamorous job. I smelled like a hoagie all of the time.

I started noticing that my poop was neon green. I wasn't sure why but it didn't go away. I went to the doctor. The obvious answer was that an alien invaded my body resulting in a neon green secretion from my ass. Here is how the conversation went.

Dr.: "What the fuck are you doing here?" I loved his demeanor.
Me: "My poop is neon green."
Dr.: "Why?"
Me: "If I knew I wouldn't be here."
Dr.: " Are you eating anything different?"
Me: "Nope."
Dr.: "What are you drinking?"
Me: "Water, Diet Coke, Icees."
Dr." What kind of Icees?"
Me: " Blue Raspberry, The red makes a mess of my face."
Dr."That is why your shit is green."
Me.: "Oh."
Dr: " You can stop drinking them or stop looking at your shit."
Me: " I will stop looking at my shit."

Never said I was a rocket scientist.