Monday, October 17, 2011

A Trip To The Dollar Store Can Be Priceless

I went into the dollar store last week to pick up a few little things.  The dollar store by my house is awesome. They have a wall of gift bags to die for. Anyway, apparently it was National " It is 3:40 on a Tuesday so everyone in a 5 miles radius go at the same time " Day.  It was packed.  I was looking around wondering why it was so crowded .  I was looking for sale signs thinking there was a big sale then I realized that I was in the dollar store.  Nothing is more than a dollar to begin with.  I have no idea why the whole world was there but they were.  I only had two things in my hand and got to the line.  I was about to put my stuff back because there was only one cashier and the line was stupid long. Then I decided that I really have nowhere to be and that I would wait.

I have no patience.  I HATE shopping and I hate standing in line even more. Because I always always always get in the wrong line.  The person ahead of me needs a price check or has 4,000 coupons and needs to make sure that each one goes through and questions every beep on the register. Never fails.  Being as there was only ONE register open, I couldn't be in the "wrong" line anyway. 

So I am watching all the people in front of me (because there wasn't anything else to do) and observing what they were buying. Mostly all the normal stuff that people buy in a dollar store.  One girl who looked about 16 bought like 15 things of hand soap and pulled out this huge WAD of money then decided to use a credit (maybe a debit) card. OK you are a child, you are in the dollar store and you have a wad of money in your hand. Just use the cash. It took her 5 minutes to pull the card out of her back pocket because her jeans were glued to her ass. I am guessing she's a hooker.  Why else would you buy 15 things of hand soap with a wad of money in your hand?  She was being a show off. Who isn't a show off in the dollar store?? Anyway, then there was the man who bought 5 things of some meaty thing and toilet paper.  Looked like lebanon bologna but I don't think that's what it was . Gross. I have nothing against the dollar store but I find that a package of like 10 pieces of meat that is a dollar would have bad results.  I guess that's why he had the toilet paper.

As I get closer to the end of my 5 hour wait ( it was really about 5 minutes )  I focus on the conversation being had behind me by a boy and a girl..I hadn't yet seen them at this point but they were about 15. This is what I hear:

Boy: "See that thing?" (referring to the pregnancy tests hanging there)
Girl: " Yea?"
Boy: " Whatsherface (I forget the name he said) took one of them that she bought here."
Girl: " OMG no way"
Boy: : "Yea (slight giggle) it came out positive . They don't work." ( at which point I casually turned my head to look.)
Girl:" So she's not pregnant???"
Boy: " No she didn't even have sex but it came back positive"
Girl: " Oh wow... I really want an energy drink".

Ok so Whatsherface went into the dollar store and bought a pregnancy test .  I get that maybe buying one there may NOT be the most reliable way to go BUT do neither of you wonder WHY she is buying a pregnancy test if she hasn't had sex?

I kept my mouth shut because it was now my turn at the register.  They will figure it out once they have their energy drinks.

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