Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Are your crazy or just a liar?

Statements people have actually said:

"My husband died a few months ago but let me check with him and I will get back to you".. Um ok.

"I made a million dollars last year." Ten minutes later .. " I don't take the turnpike, I have a problem with giving them a dollar." Oh yea  I understand.  That means you will only have $999,999.00 left!

" I only drink occasionally". Your belly tells a different story, you look 24 months pregnant.

" I don't drink". Do you think I didn't just see you drink 4 straight vodkas over the past hour?  I am sitting right across from you!!

" I used to be insecure but I am not anymore I just need to know where we stand" ( during a first date).

" I didn't text you 42 times in two hours. You texted yourself with my number".  Yes  I am actually an alien with cellular satellite powers.  You found me out.

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