Monday, March 28, 2011

Vote for me for Reality TV!

I am a reality show fool.  I love my reality shows. But I am starting to get a little disturbed by them. It's like a train wreck that you can't take pull your eyes from.

Dancing with the Stars: The judges treat them like they are pros and can be way overcritical.  They must get paid an awful lot of money to put up with that and smile and say 'Thank you' after they get ripped a new ass.  I am, however, looking forward to this season. 

Ralph Macchio rocks.50 years old? Not too shabby.

 I was so shocked by Kirstie Alley. I thought she was going to get on my last nerve and embarrass the hell out of herself. But I have to say, she proved me wrong ( which I am sure that's what her intentions were.. to prove ME wrong).

 Wendy Williams,  I love ya, I do  but you seriously suck and how the HELL do you remain upright with those " dumplings" ( as Len called them).  I think you deserve to keep trying. You clearly don't dance and that's the whole point so I give you props for going out there and not being a chicken with "dumplings".

Kendra, I am sorry  I'm not sure what the judges were watching but you were a hot mess. You looked like a bowl of Jello. However, I think the judges saw a few of your Playboy issues and decided that you had great "potential". We will see.  Maybe you will upgrade to pudding and get a it little less floppy out there.

 They should really limit the dances they do and come up with better songs.  I nominate me to help them out with this. If I win, you will never have to witness the likes of Florence Henderson dancing the Rumba.  Promise.


 American Idol: ok  I love this show. I am an American Idol dork.  A big one. BUT  I think with each season, the singers  get worse.  They always start the first few weeks with the stupidest song choices.  You are supposed to go out there and showcase your voice, not sing Smells like Teen Spirit. That's a song you listen to at a bar or in your car when you want to scream like a fool not when you are trying to convince 65 million people that you have the voice of an angel. I like Casey, but clearly I am not the only one with this opinion since he almost got the boot last week... people don't forget. Whatever happened to songs like Fantasia's "Summertime"?  Now that's singing. Once you prove yourself then you go out there and rock it out. I get that JLo ,Steven Tyler and Randy ( who worked with Mariah Carey.. did you know that ? He's mentioned it a time or ten..thousand)  are sitting in front of you but it is still a singing competition and they CAN sing. They just choose not to. I find this disturbing and nominate myself to be the guest mentor for a  week so I can correct this problem before the show falls aparts and gets canceled.

The Bachelor: First of all, Facebook sucks.  There was a spoiler out there that told who won and told it very early on. Someone posted about watching and some other rude ass comments back with who wins in the end.  I find this extremely uncalled for and that's another post for the near future. Anyway, so I knew who was going to win. Or I thought I did.  I went online the day of the finale ( before it was on)  because I couldn't remember if After the Final Rose was on right after the end of the show.  When I googled it the first thing I saw was a post that the spoiler was wrong...  which sucked because I would have been surprised when Emily won had I not seen that because the spoiler said that Shawntel won.  Apparently, the spoiler is out there every year and that was the first time it was wrong ( so they say). So what is the point of watching a show for months when you can look online and find out who won. Even if you don't want to know, it's kind of hard not to find out unless you delete your facebook account for two months. The most disturbing part is that you watch this Oh So Romantic finale with the lovey dovey music and the kissing and swinging around like they are in the Sound of Music and then a half hour later you are watching them on the couch saying.. well I changed my mind and now I love Molly .  It kind of ruins the mood.  I know, I know  there is Trista  and Ryan and Ali and Roberto and maybe one or two others. But the show has been running a long time.  The stats aren't in their favor.  I nominate ME to come up with a better plan to make this work.

The morale of this story is if you nominate me as the Reality Show Savior the show will go on.  And that's a wrap!

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