About 5 weeks have passed. I have spent all my waking hours with my husband and girls.While I sleep often it is never enough. It is a struggle to keep my eyes open however it is a bigger struggle to succumb to rest because I want to savor the time I have left with my family. Sometimes I find myself just staring at them so that the imprint of their faces always remain with me. I do not have the energy to eat and what I do consume is a struggle to keep down.
This morning I woke to a beam of sunshine on my face. My husband was standing by the window. He opened the blinds to bring some light to the room. He says sunshine makes you happy. I think it was because I lie so still and my breathing is so sporadic that he is checking to make sure I am still alive. He had a look of unbridled fear in his eyes. I smiled. He smiled back. It was a moment that seemed to last forever. We both knew then that today would be our last day together until we meet again.
He called my girls to come over then made me a cup of my favorite herbal tea. We both knew I couldn't drink it but the smell of chamomile is divine and having it on the nightstand beside me was just as soothing as sipping it.
My husband and my girls sat at my bedside all afternoon. We talked, well mainly they talked and when I had the strength I responded. We cried and we laughed over and over again. I was beaming from ear to ear because my final moments could not have been more perfect. My daughter asked why I was so happy. I told them that to have the opportunity to spend this time with the people who have made my life complete was a blessing. Life is an opportunity. A chance to learn, to grow and to love. We are put here to prepare for what lies ahead. This is just the beginning.
Evening approached and I grew tired. They asked if I wanted them to leave the room to let me rest. I told them to stay for just a little while longer. With my final bit of energy, I kissed each of them softly. It was then that I saw the path. The trees were magnificent and butterflies surrounded me. I looked toward the end of the path and there stood my grandmother with her hand held out to me. I looked at my husband and girls and told them that I was ready for God to hear my prayers again. I closed my eyes one final time, we bowed our heads and I whispered my final words " In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen". I took my grandmother's hand and together we walked.
Life is good.
well written but soooo sad, it brought tears to my eyes.
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